Breathing
by tic tac toe 03
Summary: Two years, three months, eleven days ago she lost her sister. And she can't find the balance between living and remembering her sister. She's slowly sinking and she won't let anyone else in to help. But he's not giving up easily. Naitlyn and Smitichie
1. Chapter 1

**Breathing **

_**I started this a while ago and finally finished the third and last chapter today. I hope you enjoy it, the next chapters will be up soon. **_

**____****Disclaimer: I own nothing but Scarlett and the plot. **

She sits staring miserably out the window as the rest of the people surrounding her laugh and joke as they drink and then refill the glasses that they are clutching as they mingle amongst the rest of the guests at the party.

She hasn't been given an option about attending the New Years Party which Mitchie is throwing. The first reason being that she is a famous music producer and has to make a public appearance at the social highlights of the year. The second reason is that she is supposed to be meeting Mitchie's new boyfriend at this party. The third reason is that she lives here. And the fourth reason is simple- Mitchie is her best friend.

"Caitlyn." Mitchie bounds up to her, to where she sits perched on the window sill in the living room, dragging a laughing man behind her. It took Caitlyn a second to place the man and then she realises that it's Shane Gray, one third of Connect Three. "This is Shane, my boyfriend. Shane this is Caitlyn, my best friend."

Shane does a double take at her and then immediately tries to hide it. But Caitlyn can't blame him she knew that she didn't look like the type to be best friend's with someone as cheerful and positive as Mitchie but at one time she had been the lively one.

"Pleased to meet you." Shane extends his hand which she shakes and offers her own polite smiles and greetings. She makes conversation with them for a few minutes and she knows that while she may be fooling Shane she sure as well isn't fooling Mitchie with her false party spirit.

And then she catches sight of a blond haired girl wearing a red strapless dress with matching stilettos clearing a space in the throng of people and start to dance calling to the surrounding people to join her.

And somewhere at the back of her mind she sees another blond dressed in a similar colour and style dress clear a space and begin to dance.

Without warning the familiar tears spring to her eyes and she pushes past Mitchie ignoring her worried cries and shoves open the patio doors leading to the garden and collapses on the nearest garden chair.

And then her head goes down on the table and she begins to cry loud gasping sobs that if anyone steps out for a bit of air cannot fail to hear. But no one does come evidently the cold, sharp air puts them off as they prefer to suffer in the stuffy heat of the living room.

Her tears begin to fade and her head goes back up only to find that the cold, sharp air hasn't put this curly haired guy off and he's sitting opposite her waiting for her to stop crying. As her shocked eyes meet his concerned one she can't stop the blush from spreading across her face.

"You okay?" He asks reaching his hand out towards hers but the second her skin makes contact with his and the spark hits them both she pulls it back. He looks hurt as she drags his eyes away from his and immediately she feels the guilt spread over her body.

And it's for this reason alone that she hisses at him "Just leave me alone." And with that Nate Gray walks back through the double doors and into the joys of the party.

She knows that she can't let him get too close because then she'll care, the guilt being evidence that she already does, and if she cares then he'll slip away and she'll never get him back.

It's the principle she's been using for two years, three months and eleven days and the only exception is Mitchie because a) she knows why Caitlyn's doing it having witnessed it herself and b) she's been her best friend ever since they were seven and there's no way Mitchie will let Caitlyn go like that.

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"What did you do to Nate?" Mitchie asks the next morning as Caitlyn helps her clear away the empty bottles, wash the glasses and plates, get the trodden food out the carpet and rearrange the furniture back to its former home.

Caitlyn almost drops the glass she's drying up and then realises that Nate is Shane's brother and Shane is Mitchie's boyfriend and so it's obvious that Mitchie will know the whole story. "Why are you asking when you already know?"

"Because I want to know why you pushed him away when he was only trying to help."

Caitlyn raises her eyebrows at her best friend and takes the next glass from the draining board. "You can't keep pushing everyone away." Mitchie tells her tipping away the water now that she's finished the washing up.

And then she catches sight of Caitlyn's face and she knows why Caitlyn did it. "Caitlyn not everyone's going to die on you."

"You don't know that."

"And Nate doesn't know why you were so rude to him." Mitchie points out slipping her arm around Caitlyn.

Caitlyn opens her mouth to speak but before she can get the words out the doorbell rings and Mitchie disentangles herself from her friend and pulls the door open to see the whole of Connect Three standing outside.

Caitlyn stands there watching as Mitchie throws herself into Shane's arms and almost wishes that she has what they have. But she doesn't and she never will because she doesn't believe in love. She used to but now, now her little sister's dead love has just slipped out of her life.

"You know most people at your age don't still have their teddies in their living room let alone hug them when they have visitors." Nate smirks at her and she glances down in surprise to find that she's unconsciously clutching Scarlett's teddy that she gave her on her first birthday.

She feels the anger flowing through her at his snide comment and then has to remind herself that he doesn't know. And so she tries to laugh it off and then follows Mitchie and Shane through to the kitchen.

"What the hell are they doing here?" she hisses at Mitchie once she has sent Shane through to ask his brothers what they want to drink.

"You like Nate." Mitchie states so simply that Caitlyn wonders if anyone can ever fool her.

"No I don't." She denies because admitting it to Mitchie means admitting it herself and she doesn't believe in love.

But Mitchie just raises an eyebrow at her and hands her a glass of water. "And I want to spend time with my boyfriend. Why what's wrong?"

Caitlyn shakes her head and holds the worn, old, loved teddy up so that Mitchie can see it. "Nate…he…" And then Mitchie properly looks at her and immediately gets what she's trying to say and knows what passed between them.

It's the same thing that happened with Sander the first time Caitlyn invited him back to their house. He was the first and the last guy she dated since the accident. "I'm sorry." Mitchie's arms go around hers for a second before she pulls back. "But if you want to be happy then you've got to try, tell Nate."

Shane saves Caitlyn from having to answer by re entering the kitchen with an order of two cokes and one water. And so Caitlyn leaves the two of them too it and joins Jason and Nate but not before she's made a detour to her room to return to sit the teddy back on her bedside table.

She makes every effort to join in the conversation during lunch and to keep her eyes away from Nate. And while she succeeds in the first attempt she fails drastically when it comes to the second one. Every time he speaks her eyes stray that way and several other times as well and her eyes always linger longer than they should on him.

As conversation is prone to do when you put two singers, one guitarist, one singer/instrumentalist and one music producer in a room together the talk turns to music and their careers. "What was your first song?" Shane asks his girlfriend.

"This is Me." She answers remembering the first song she ever wrote. "It was also Caitlyn's first time producing a song."

"And filming one." Caitlyn adds as the memories of the problems she had had with the video camera flash before her eyes. "Although it was the last time I ever filmed anything."

"Can we see it?" Jason asks eager to see the homemade video of Mitchie's first song. Mitchie nods and disappears into her room to find the tape and Caitlyn has a sinking feeling in her stomach but can't find the reason behind it.

It's only when they're half through the video Shane giving Mitchie adoring looks as her eighteen year old self sings to the screen that Caitlyn remembers why. In the background of Mitchie singing they hear the sound of a whispered argument and the camera shakes slightly as Caitlyn loses her concentration with the filming.

Eventually the camera regains its control and a blond haired girl of about twelve enters the shot and grins and Mitchie and starts to dance. From the look of Mitchie she had forgotten this and so had Caitlyn but the shock of seeing her sister again is too much.

"Scarlett." She breathes and she bolts out of her seat and crouches in front of the TV. "Damn it." She shrieks and she reels back and punches the wall in front of her. "Damn it Scarlett why did you have to leave me. Why did you choose that street to cross?"

And then the sobs let themselves rip and she curls up on the floor hugging her knees to her chest as the memories flash before her. She's not aware of Shane, Nate and Jason leaving talking in hushed tones, of Mitchie promising to call them later and of her best friend crouching down beside her and wrapping her in a hug.

And all that time the curly haired teen continues to film, the brunette continues to sing and the blond continues to dance.

_**Sorry for any mistakes. I have proof read but I can't guarantee I spotted everything. Thanks for reading. **_

_**Tacxxx **_


	2. Chapter 2

_****__Breathing: Chapter 2 _

_**Thanks for all the reviews- hope you enjoy this chapter! **_

**__****Disclaimer: I own nothing **

Weeks fly by and Mitchie hardly sees Caitlyn. She goes to work, she comes home from work and that's it. She doesn't live. She hasn't been living for two years, four months and two days but she's been surviving. Now she just exists.

Her thoughts are plagued by thoughts of Scarlett and of Nate. She remembers everything that Nate ever said to her, every detail of his looks and everything about him. But just as soon as she remembers this she remembers Scarlett and feels guilty for feeling love when Scarlett can't, for moving on with her life.

She can't find a mix between remembering and loving Scarlett and moving on with her life and loving Nate. And she can't cope with it.

Mitchie watches as she stares blankly at the object in front of her. Mitchie watches as she sobs and gasps for breath (but then she helps, holding Caitlyn until it passes). Mitchie watches as Caitlyn slowly sinks under and Mitchie despairs as she can't do anything to help.

And then Mitchie snaps. She storms into the living room three weeks after the fatal lunch and grabs Caitlyn roughly by the arm and forces her into her bedroom. Once there Mitchie rips a photo of Caitlyn, Scarlett and herself out of the frame and goes to rip it in half.

"Stop it." Caitlyn cries and she snatches the photo back and the proceeds to throw the pillows on her bed at Mitchie.

And Mitchie lets her as she laughs in relief. "This is the first time you've spoken to me in…_years._"

"Twenty one days actually." Caitlyn smirks at her and then the pillows stop flying towards Mitchie and the two girls are hugging tightly.

"Welcome back." Mitchie laughs and she takes Caitlyn out for dinner that evening to celebrate her return to the world of the living.

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The next day Mitchie and Shane drag Caitlyn out shopping, with lame disguises of sunglasses which don't really work but few people notice them anyway. Caitlyn hates shopping anyway and so she spends most of her time sitting outside dressing rooms with Shane and she gets to know him better.

They keep the conversation light for the most of it steering clear of uncomfortable subjects and so they discuss the news headlines, books and TV shows. And then with one sentence it all changes.

"I'm sorry about your sister." Shane comes out with in a silence between them. Caitlyn opens her mouth to yell at him, to tell him that he doesn't know what it feels like and that he has no reason to be sorry but then she catches sight of Mitchie poking her head out of the changing room with a pleading look on her face.

"Thanks." Caitlyn chokes out before she runs.

She makes it to a bench just outside the mall and collapses on it and buries her head in her hands the tears sliding down her face. She should have been there. She should have got to the hospital sooner but she didn't and that makes her a terrible sister.

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"You need to try and move on." Mitchie tells Caitlyn later that night when they're sitting in their living room watching TV after dinner.

Something about her casual tone makes Caitlyn lose it. "You don't see her dead body every night, you don't have the nightmares, and you don't feel guilty for not getting there in time." She screams her face a chalk white.

She wants to go on, to finally lash out at somebody but then she makes the fatal mistake of looking at Mitchie. Tears are pouring down her friend's face and Caitlyn remembers how Mitchie always invited Scarlett to their sleepovers, how Mitchie always picked her up from school whenever Caitlyn couldn't, how Mitchie always came to her dance shows and how Mitchie was the first one at the hospital.

"I loved Scarlett too." Mitchie chokes. "I miss her everyday but I live my life because that's what she would have wanted us too. You can't say that you're the only one suffering because I loved her too."

"I know. She loved you too." Caitlyn whispers. "But I don't know how to live, live without her."

Mitchie leans over and throws her arms around Caitlyn and their tears mingle together as they cry for the little sister they both loved and lost. "What do I do now?" Caitlyn asks once they've both calmed down.

"Call Nate; tell him everything." She notices Caitlyn's dubious look and sighs. "You like him, he likes you. He'll help you. He's a good guy Caitlyn."

She freezes for a second taking in what Mitchie's told her to do and she suddenly knows what she has to do, what Scarlett would want her to do. "Can I have his number?"

Mitchie beams at her. "That's my girl."

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It takes Caitlyn all of the next morning to pluck up the courage to phone Nate. She's alone in the house as Mitchie's recording her new album but Caitlyn has the day off. She sits curled up on the window seat in her room her phone sits in her hand Nate's number staring up at her.

She jumps when her phone buzzes and sees that Mitchie's sent her a text. _Stop wasting time and call him already! xxx_

Caitlyn laughs. _How do you know I haven't already? xxx _

_Because I'm recording my duet with them and his phone hasn't gone off. Call him! xxx _

She takes a deep breath and then presses the call button on her phone. It rings twice and then he picks up. "Hello."

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At four o'clock that afternoon Caitlyn stands outside the building nervously waiting for Nate to appear. She watches the cars rush past on the road and swallows the lump in her throat every time she sees a cab. Her back is carefully turned away from the door knowing that more she looks at it the longer he will take because life just isn't fair.

"Hi." She turns on her heel to see Nate standing behind her and the other three getting into a car. Mitchie catches her eye and gives her a fleeting thumbs up before disappearing from sight.

"Hey." She smiles at Nate.

"How are you?" Nate asks meeting her eyes as he looks down at her, he's a good foot taller than her.

"Ok I guess." She shrugs tearing her eyes away from his as the intensity of his stare hits her.

"You guess?" Nate smirks slightly and Caitlyn loses it for the second time in two days.

"My little sister died when a damn cab hit her and I couldn't do anything to save her." she shrieks at him. "I couldn't fucking save her." Nate looks stunned and Caitlyn turns on her heel and runs.

She runs all the way home bursting through the front door ignoring Mitchie's worried cries and slams her bedroom door shut. She throws herself onto her bed and buries her face in her pillow as she sobs. Her hand finds Scarlett's teddy and she clutches it to her.

She wasn't ready for this. She didn't know how much it would hurt just by admitting the truth to someone. And as she cries for her sister she realises that she just screwed up her last chance of ever getting to be with Nate and that hurts. And so she cries harder. And then she realises that she's crying harder over Nate than Scarlett and that makes her a god damn awful sister.

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She sits down on hard wooden chairs amongst the crowds of parents, friends and other siblings all eager to see the dancers perform what they have been working so hard on.

The music starts to swell and she feels the familiar feeling of pride fill her as she knows that in seconds she will see Scarlett dance the steps she has been rehearsing in their living room for ages on stage in her costume that their mom spent ages making and she can't wait.

And then the line of dancers appear from out of the wings and she sees the oh so familiar costume and with a sickening feeling she realises that it's not Scarlett's body she's seeing it's Scarlett's corpse. And then she screams only no sound comes out of her mouth.

She stands to run to get away from it only her legs won't move and she tries to tear her eyes away from it only she can't and so she screams hoarsely again.

"Caitlyn." Her scream mingles with the cries of someone calling her name from a distance and she can feel someone shaking her but she can't see them and so she screams again. "CAITLYN".

She blinks and Mitchie's kneeling beside her a concerned look on her face as she shakes Caitlyn. "Mitchie." She gasps and then bursts into tears as the relief washes over her.

"Was it that dream again?" Mitchie asks having heard all about the terrifying nightmare before. She nods and reaches for Mitchie's hand. She's shaking and she's chalk white and she feels even worse when she sees the tears in her friend's eyes.

They sit in silence for a while and gradually the colour returns to Caitlyn's face, she stops shaking and Mitchie controls her tears. "What happened with Nate today?" Mitchie asks deciding that it would be best for both if they change the subject.

Caitlyn loses some of her newly gained colour at the question. "I screwed it up." She whispered and then as Mitchie opens her mouth to disagree she swiftly carries on. "For good." She chokes on the last word and then the tears come again and the story comes out to Mitchie.

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"Why are you ignoring Nate's calls?" Mitchie asks the next evening when she and Caitlyn are sprawled across the furniture in the living room watching an episode of friends trying to pretend that Caitlyn hasn't just taken a huge step back from where they were the day before.

"How did you know about that?" Caitlyn's head shoots up from the arm rest of the sofa where she was leaning her head against.

Mitchie shoots her a withering look and Caitlyn sighs wishing that everyone wasn't so closely interlinked that the gossip got around quickly. "I made a complete fool out of myself in front of him I don't need him to rub it in."

"He wants to help like I told you before. He only wants to help. " Mitchie tells her watching her friend closely.

"Help with what?" Caitlyn snaps. "I'm fine."

This time Mitchie breaks. "You're not fine Caitlyn. You can't move on her from death, anything that reminds you of her sets you off in tears; you still have nightmares over it all. You're not living. You think it's easy to sit here and watch you suffer and nothing I do helps at all. You're my best friend and I love you and it kills to see you like this."

She pauses for breath but Caitlyn can only stare at her in shock and so Mitchie carries on. "You need someone to help you and the minute someone tries to you push them away." She catches the look on Caitlyn's face and softens a bit. "Moving on and living isn't betraying her memory staying like this is. Let Nate in Caitlyn."

They're both white faced by the time Mitchie's finished and struggling not to cry but Mitchie also looks as stubborn as a mule and Caitlyn finally relents. "I'll try." She promises. "I won't push him away again."

_**Thanks for reading- Tacxxx**_


	3. Chapter 3

**Chapter 3 **

**_Thanks so much for all the lovely reviews- you guys are great! I hope you enjoy this chapter- it gets better than worse but all ends happily. Enjoy. _**

A week later Caitlyn and Nate have been out to dinner twice and he knows everything. Everything and once Caitlyn's finished pouring out the story to him she expects him to just get up and walk away having decided that it's just too much for him to cope with.

But he doesn't.

He stays holding her hand until their food comes and they have to separate them and tells her that he's there for her, that he'll get her through it. And she falls for him a little bit more.

By the time that week's up Caitlyn knows everything about him. That his favourite ice cream flavour is mint chocolate chip, that if he wasn't a musician he'd like to go into politics and that when he was six he jumped into the garden pond after his toy dog which he accidentally dropped in it when looking at the fish.

And he knows everything about her. That her favourite book is Pride and Prejudice, that she loves dogs and when she was eight she tried to kidnap a duck from the local pond and bring it home to keep but her father found out when it quacked in her bag.

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And so on the Sunday she brings him to the cemetery. On her previous visits she had run to the grave, flung herself down on the grass by it and torn at the weeds that surrounded it hysterically crying all the time.

But this time she walks to it grasping Nate's hand tightly and sits down in front of the grave and carefully picks at the weeds and lies the flowers down by it carefully. Tears still stream down her face but she keeps her control mainly due to Nate's reassuring presence by her side.

She falls for him even more when he doesn't give her a strange look when she starts talking to Scarlett and falls a bit harder when he even says hello to her and tells her not to worry that he's going to take care of Caitlyn for the rest of his life.

She likes Shane even more when he and Mitchie appear from behind them, having followed them here as planned, and tells Scarlett the same thing that Nate just told her. Mitchie's crying as well and they're all staring at her grave hands linked as they visit her sister.

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A few weeks later Mitchie comes running into Caitlyn's office. "Shane's asked me to move in with him." she squeals collapsing in the chair that Caitlyn's not occupying.

"That's great." Caitlyn leaps up to hug her friend who only returns it half-heartedly as she's still getting her breath back.

"Will you be ok?" Mitchie asks stealing Caitlyn's coffee that she had just brought back from the Starbucks opposite her building.

"Not if you drink my coffee." Caitlyn scowls at her. "I hadn't had any of that yet."

Mitchie smiles guiltily at her. "Sorry but seriously will you be ok by yourself?"

"You were always the one who was more likely to set the place on fire." Caitlyn laughs. "But yeah I'll be fine. It's not as though we're not going to see each other ever."

Mitchie gives her a sceptical look but let's the subject drop guessing that now isn't the right time to bring up a touchy and emotional conversation. She makes a mental note to talk to Nate about it all the while thinking how nice it is not to be the only one with the worry and responsibility for Caitlyn.

"Do you want to go to lunch?" Caitlyn's questions brings Mitchie out of her thoughts and she agrees and once Caitlyn's sent the email she's typing they gather their things and head out to the café nearby where they tend to go when they meet up for lunch.

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Three weeks later both Caitlyn and Mitchie's cars are full of boxes and bags which have packed full of all Mitchie's things. Surprisingly they manage to pack everything into the two cars in one so they don't have to make any second trips.

They pull in front of Shane's house which luckily for the two friends is only a five minute drive and a ten minute walk away from their house. "Your new home." Caitlyn grins at Mitchie who laughs and pulls the cardboard box of the passenger seat into her arms.

Nate and Jason are also there to help with all the unpacking and Mitchie soon sets them all to work carrying boxes and bags into the house and directing them to where each should be left. "I'm glad Mitchie knows what she's doing." Jason mutters to Caitlyn as they pass each other on the driveway.

"Yeah but she's not half bossy about it." Caitlyn scowls as Mitchie yells at them to stop talking and carry on with the unpacking. "You should have seen her last night when we were loading the car."

Jason laughs and then carries on into the house with his box. "Mitch calm down." Caitlyn stops by her friend. "We'll get everything into the house."

Mitchie sends her a small smile but says nothing. "You okay?" Caitlyn asks.

"I'm fine." Mitchie sighs and that's when Caitlyn knows that she's really not.

"We're going to make some coffee." Caitlyn calls to the three musicians and then drags Mitchie into the kitchen. "What's wrong?" she asks flicking the switch on the kettle and then hoisting herself up on to the kitchen counter.

"I'm nervous." Mitchie admits perching on the kitchen table. "Do you think I'm doing the right thing?"

"Do you love him?" Caitlyn asks and then grins when Mitchie sends her a _I can't believe you're asking me that _look. "Well then yeah of course you are."

"I'm going to miss you though." Mitchie jumps off the table and hugs Caitlyn tightly.

"Me too." Caitlyn sighs blinking back the tears that threaten to fall as she thinks about the empty house she will be returning too.

"You'll be ok won't you?" Mitchie asks pulling away to look at her face. Caitlyn nods trying to look convincing but she knows that Mitchie doesn't believe her.

They're both saved from saying anything by the arrival of the Shane, Nate and Jason who all eagerly want their coffee and a well deserved break.

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And she is ok. Mitchie waits for the hysterical phone call from Caitlyn but it never comes. They still see each other almost every day and their relationship hasn't changed at all. They're still best friends and they still need each other.

And so Mitchie realises that Caitlyn's slowly learning to live again and it's completely down to Nate. He's holding her hand through the days until she's ready for the day when she only needs the occasional hand on the shoulder.

And so neither Shane or Mitchie are surprised when the couple show up on their doorstep, almost three months to the day when they moved in together, needing to speak to them. Mitchie leads Caitlyn straight into the kitchen and Shane and Nate are left the lounge.

"I love him." Caitlyn says as soon as the door has closed behind them.

Mitchie can't stop the grin that spreads across her face. "And have you told him?" She asks. Caitlyn nods her grin matching Mitchie's as she goes onto to explain the previous evening when Nate told her that he loved her.

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And so life moves swiftly on for all of them. Jason finds a girlfriend. Caitlyn and Nate move in together. Shane and Mitchie get engaged. And all of them are happy. And as always when they're happy something goes wrong.

Caitlyn's in a meeting when her phone rings. She presses ignore and carries on with what she was talking about. It's only when it rings again less than a minute after she pressed ignore that her boss nods at her to answer it and she seizes it annoyed. "Hello."

"Is that Caitlyn Gellar?" An unfamiliar voice asks and Caitlyn feels a sickening feeling in her stomach. Something's not right.

"Yes." She confirms warily.

"There's been an accident." The voice goes on. "Nate Gray."

The room tilts. The voice goes on speaking. Colours flash before her eyes. Her breath catches in her throat.

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There aren't many traffic laws that Caitlyn doesn't break on her drive to the hospital and there aren't many people she doesn't almost push over in her rush to ask the nurse where Nate is.

"You're Caitlyn Gellar?"

Caitlyn nods and then rushes on. "Where's Nate? How is he? What's going on? I need to know. You've got to tell me." Her face is white, her fists are clenched and her teeth are gritted.

The nurse holds up her hand and waits for Caitlyn to stop her panicked speech. "He's still in critical condition but we have brilliant medical care here." She goes on speaking but Caitlyn's no longer listening.

She knows from experience that this hospital doesn't always have brilliant medical care. This hospital couldn't save her sister.

"Where's my brother?" Shane, Jason and Mitchie are running towards them. Mitchie's crying, Shane's whiter than Caitlyn and Jason's shaking.

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It's been two hours, twenty three minutes since Caitlyn arrived at the hospital. It's been two hours sixteen minutes since she sat on this plastic chair. It's been two years, seven months and two days since Caitlyn's done this before.

A minute goes by. Mitchie bites her lip.

Two minutes goes by. Jason stands up and then sits down again.

Three minutes goes by. Shane's clenched fists have drawn blood.

Four minutes goes by. Caitlyn can barely breathe.

They're all staring at the door. They all want to say something to make the others feel better. None of them know what to say.

"I hate this fucking hospital." Mitchie glances at Caitlyn and the time before flashes between them. Running doctors, yelling nurses, beeping machines, doors opening, doors closing. It's the same this time. It doesn't look good.

They don't tell Shane and Jason this. They can't find the words.

And then a doctors walks, _walks _not runs and stops in front of them. "I'm glad to be able to tell you that Nate is in a stable condition." If he has more to say he doesn't get the chance. All four of them have leapt up to hug him.

"Thank you. Thank you so much." (Mitchie)

"You are the best fucking doctor ever." (Shane)

"He's okay. He's going to be ok." (Jason)

Only Caitlyn is silent but she beams at the doctor and he understands.

And somewhere in another lifetime the running doctors slow to a walk, the yelling nurses soften to a whisper, the beeping machines silence, a door opens and the door closes. Somewhere in another lifetime someone isn't as lucky.

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Shane and Jason burst into Nate's room and arms tangle together in a hug. They're all talking at once but they're brothers and know what the others are saying. Caitlyn misses that.

When the noise quietens Mitchie hugs Nate and whispers something in his ear before retreating back into Shane's arms smiling.

Only Caitlyn is left standing in the doorway the distance emphasised by the fact that the others are practically on the bed. Nate looks up and makes eye contact with her. "I'm sorry."

Caitlyn swallows and counts to ten before she can answer. It doesn't help, her voice is still choked with sobs and tears still start to slide down her face. "It's okay. I love you, you know that right."

"I love you too." Nate says and extends his arm to her. She takes his hand and allows herself to be pulled onto his bed and into his arms. He reaches round her and pulls a tissue out of the box on the table to wipe her tears away.

And as her tears stop Caitlyn finally realises something that's been creeping up on her for a couple of months. She's alive, she's breathing, she's living and she's in love.

And her sister looks down on her and smiles.

_**Thanks for reading- you guys have been amazing. This is the last chapter as I thought that it was good place to end it. I could have carried it on but the story was about Caitlyn finally being able to move on from her sisters death with the help of Nate. I think if I did carry it on it would just go all down hill and not be as good. I am trying to work on Sugar and Salt and have written the first two chapters of a Paul and Rachel Twilight story but inspiration is sadly lacking. I get good ideas that I want to write and then come to a nice brick wall. Argh. I have also just started 6th form and my A-levels and the work load will be increasing so that won't be helping! But I will keep ploughing on and trying to get past the wall. **_

**_Sorry rant over! _**

**_Thanks again!- Tacxxx_**


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